Different countries often have very different ways of showing nonverbal communication. Even within our own country people communicate differently. I think one of the most obvious and interesting is how people communicate a simple hello. In many places people will communicate with a wave of the hand, and in some places a simple smile does the job. What I think is most interesting is the avoidance of communication. In some third world countries, women are not even allowed to look at a person to communicate a hello. I think this type of communicate ranges drastically depending on what country you are in.
Another interesting and obvious difference occurs in our own country. One of the biggest nonverbal communicators is the way we present ourselves in public, or simply put, our fashion sense. I know we shouldn't judge people by the way they dress, but it's actually really hard to avoid that. People dress a certain way to send a certain nonverbal message. Most people have enough sense to know that if they dress a certain way then they will be judged a certain way. Fashion trends vary from city to city. Everybody dresses differently but I think we all stick to similar standards of dress, whether that be professional, punk, preppy etc. We all fit into some category that sends a very specific message to the people around us.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
March 8-14 Question #1
Nonverbal messages can be extremely ambiguous and I have definitely misinterpreted the meaning of others' messages. I have also had my nonverbal communication be misinterpreted. That is why I think it is extremely important to back up your nonverbal communication with verbal communication. Especially if you know someone may misunderstand you.
My old roommate was a professional when it came to sending confusing nonverbal messages. I knew that she wanted to tell me something but the only way she knew how to do it was with nonverbal messages, which to me seemed like very passive aggressive behavior. "When nonverbal codes work together to send the same message, their impact is intensified. When they work at cross-purposes, confusion results" (110). I think that this was exactly what was happening with my roommate. She was trying to act like nothing was wrong but her nonverbal communication was not consistent. It became a very confusing situation and ended with us having to move out because our issues with each other were not being solved with a proper form of communication.
I think in order to avoid these issues in the future, I've learned that my own nonverbal communication says a lot about what I'm thinking, and in order to make sure I'm consistent I need to talk about things too. I can't solely rely on what my body language and actions are telling people. And it goes both ways. If I'm confused about someones nonverbal communication I need to ask them directly about it before I jump to conclusions. "It is not a good idea to read deep meaning into every gesture, yet it is important to give proper attention to nonverbal cues. People will sometimes tell us nonverbally what they will not tell us with words, and we should not ignore those silent messages" (135). I learned a big lesson with my old roommate. And I now know how to react to someone with they are only offering nonverbal communication about their issues.
My old roommate was a professional when it came to sending confusing nonverbal messages. I knew that she wanted to tell me something but the only way she knew how to do it was with nonverbal messages, which to me seemed like very passive aggressive behavior. "When nonverbal codes work together to send the same message, their impact is intensified. When they work at cross-purposes, confusion results" (110). I think that this was exactly what was happening with my roommate. She was trying to act like nothing was wrong but her nonverbal communication was not consistent. It became a very confusing situation and ended with us having to move out because our issues with each other were not being solved with a proper form of communication.
I think in order to avoid these issues in the future, I've learned that my own nonverbal communication says a lot about what I'm thinking, and in order to make sure I'm consistent I need to talk about things too. I can't solely rely on what my body language and actions are telling people. And it goes both ways. If I'm confused about someones nonverbal communication I need to ask them directly about it before I jump to conclusions. "It is not a good idea to read deep meaning into every gesture, yet it is important to give proper attention to nonverbal cues. People will sometimes tell us nonverbally what they will not tell us with words, and we should not ignore those silent messages" (135). I learned a big lesson with my old roommate. And I now know how to react to someone with they are only offering nonverbal communication about their issues.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
March 1-7 Question #2
I definitely think that men and women use language differently. It's not a bad thing, it's simply just a difference that I think we have all learned to work with. I think language differences are one of the biggest things to cause conflict in a relationship. But it does not have to be that way. We just need to learn how to adjust our communication styles so that we can more more understanding of the opposite sex.
Our textbook says that men and women grow up completely different. "Women's culture stresses intimacy and connection, whereas men's culture values autonomy and individual achievement. These orientations affect men's and women's topics of conversation, their conversational styles, and their interpretations of one another's meanings" (Trenholm p.90). So really, nobody is to blame with an argument arises over misunderstood language. We communicate how we were taught to communicate, if we can't fully understand someone elses language, it is not our fault nor theirs.
We are brought up to act like our specific gender from the very day that we are born. Our understanding of communication and language is based in large part on the fact that we were treated a certain way all throughout our lives. I'm a girl, so I was treated as a girl from the day I was born. I was treated how my parents thought/knew a girl should be treated, and they raised my brothers to act like boys. Our gender languages are almost unavoidable. Every culture has different gender language patterns, but for the most part they follow the same basic assumptions.
Our textbook says that men and women grow up completely different. "Women's culture stresses intimacy and connection, whereas men's culture values autonomy and individual achievement. These orientations affect men's and women's topics of conversation, their conversational styles, and their interpretations of one another's meanings" (Trenholm p.90). So really, nobody is to blame with an argument arises over misunderstood language. We communicate how we were taught to communicate, if we can't fully understand someone elses language, it is not our fault nor theirs.
We are brought up to act like our specific gender from the very day that we are born. Our understanding of communication and language is based in large part on the fact that we were treated a certain way all throughout our lives. I'm a girl, so I was treated as a girl from the day I was born. I was treated how my parents thought/knew a girl should be treated, and they raised my brothers to act like boys. Our gender languages are almost unavoidable. Every culture has different gender language patterns, but for the most part they follow the same basic assumptions.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
March 1-7 Question #1
I don't think it is possible to perceive someone without judging or categorizing them. I think to perceive something is to judge it. I think they are one in the same. The issue is whether we make positive or negative judgments of other people and why we choose the judgments we make. Our text says that we use personal constructs to make sense of what we notice in others. "Like other schemata, they can make perception easier and more efficient, but they can also be inaccurate and unfair" (Trenholm p.51).
These constructs all depend on how the person has been "primed" to think. If a person is having a good day and has experienced a positive event, they are more likely to think of others in a positive light. If they are having a bad day or have suffered some kind of trauma then they are more likely to perceive people in a negative light. It's in our power to decide how we make judgments and how we perceive people.
To be fair about our judgments it's important for us to make sure we understand our cognitive schema. I've always believed that negative people will judge others in a negative way, and this whole section of chapter three proves that to be fairly accurate. If we can maintain a positive attitude, we can maintain positive judgments of others.
These constructs all depend on how the person has been "primed" to think. If a person is having a good day and has experienced a positive event, they are more likely to think of others in a positive light. If they are having a bad day or have suffered some kind of trauma then they are more likely to perceive people in a negative light. It's in our power to decide how we make judgments and how we perceive people.
To be fair about our judgments it's important for us to make sure we understand our cognitive schema. I've always believed that negative people will judge others in a negative way, and this whole section of chapter three proves that to be fairly accurate. If we can maintain a positive attitude, we can maintain positive judgments of others.
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